anythingSF

Comparing California Culture

It’s impossible to compare San Francisco or L.A. to all other cities but here are a few examples that may help you start to understand the differences.

A famous phrase you would hear from a local: In Minneapolis, “You betcha, it could be worse.” In Las Vegas, “Gambling problem, what gambling problem?” In L.A., “A million dollars for a 2-bedroom fixer? That’s a bargain!” In San Francisco, “Whoa, that’s like a cosmic flow, man.”

You might also hear some phrases by natives that you will not understand; such as: In Minneapolis, “The smelt are running in Duluth.” In Las Vegas, “I lost my shirt on the come line.” In L.A., “Take the 405 to the 10 to the 101.” In San Francisco, “She went all the way riding Bart.”

A job that is both cursed and admired: In Minneapolis, it is the snowplow driver. In Las Vegas it is the taxi driver. In L.A. it is the actress. In San Francisco it is the guy in the blue blazer on Montgomery Street protesting the conspiracy of the 12 Galaxies

A typical dinner in Minneapolis might consist of a hot dish made with Spam. In Las Vegas no one cooks, they just go to the $6.99 buffet. In L.A. it’s a sandwich swiped from the catering lunch buffet on a movie set. In San Francisco it’s any food as long as it is not ‘American.’

In L.A., everyone is single (including the married people) and in San Francisco, marriage is not allowed. So, a good place to go on a date is important. In Minneapolis it is dinner at the snack bar at Target. In Las Vegas it’s the free lunch at a topless bar. In L.A. it is wherever there are paparazzi outside and they don’t serve any real food inside. In San Francisco, it is wherever the drinks cost $8, the wait to get in is long, the service is rude, and there is no parking.

Once past the initial date, you’ll want some ideas for where to spend a relaxing long weekend away together. In Minneapolis, this would be “up nort’ at the lake for some fishin’.” In Las Vegas, this would be the 3-day slot tourney at Circus Circus. In L.A. it is wherever it takes 3 hours to drive 10 miles and requires you to buy ski’s, a tent, a bike, and a snowboard. In San Francisco, no one can afford to go anywhere so forget it.

Gifts for men and women are another place that can vary from one town to another outside of California. In Minneapolis, a good gift for a man would be a gift certificate to the Fleet Farm store. In Las Vegas, it’s a gift certificate to a topless bar. In L.A., it would be a gift certificate to a nail salon. And in San Francisco, it is a gift certificate to a spa that serves seaweed drinks and buries you in mud.

For women, on the other hand, in Minneapolis, an appropriate gift is also a gift certificate to Fleet Farm. In Las Vegas it is also a gift certificate to a topless bar. In L.A. it’s a gift certificate for a plastic surgeon. And in San Francisco it’s a gift certificate to a seminar entitled, “How to tap into the healing power of the female spirit through exponential transcendational modality and the impact on society in a male-dominated culture.”

There are certainly many other things that you’ll need to learn as a new resident of California. But, if you follow these first few guidelines, you will be well on your way to fitting in like the rest of us.